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What I Said

When you brushed off something hard your friend Owen shared, and he's been cooler with you since.

Before You Start

  • Repair is owning what I did — not performing how sorry I am.
  • Name the specific miss, not a vague 'sorry if it bothered you.'
  • If they say 'it's fine, drop it,' I don't have to take that exit.

What Am I Walking In With?

What I actually said or did:
What they probably needed from me instead:
The version of 'sorry' I'm tempted to hide behind:

What Makes Owning It Hard

  • I want to add 'but' and explain why I said it
  • I'd rather call myself a bad friend than name the specific thing
  • If they say it's fine, I want to let it drop and escape
  • I want them to reassure me that we're okay
  • Something else:

What Matters Most

Not how forgiven I feel — what's the one thing I want them to hear me own?

Ways I Could Open It

  • “Hey — can I say something about last week?”
  • “When you told me about work, I brushed it off. That wasn't right.”
  • “I think I made it smaller than it was.”

When They Stay Guarded

  • “I don't want to drop it if it's still there.”
  • “That's fair.”
  • “I know it mattered to you, and I didn't treat it that way.”
  • “You're right. I get it.”

StayIn · Conversations move. So can you.