The Blame Shift
When you're being blamed for something that isn't quite true, and the urge to correct the facts is loud.
Before You Start
- Their accusation is pointing at a hurt, not a fact.
- Being right about the timeline won't reach them.
- You can hold your ground without defending first.
What's Happening For You Right Now?
What part of the accusation feels unfair:
What I want to defend or correct:
What might be hurting underneath it:
What Makes This Hard
- I want to set the record straight
- Being blamed feels like an attack
- Staying calm feels like admitting I was wrong
- I'm afraid agreeing will make it worse
- Something else:
What Matters Most
Not winning the point — what do I most want them to feel reached on?
Something To Open With
- “Tell me what's been missing.”
- “I can see why it felt like that.”
- “You're right. What's actually under this?”
When It Gets Difficult
- “Stay. I'm listening now.”
- “Tell me more about that.”
- “I want to understand it.”
- “Whenever you're ready.”
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