Starting to Say It
When your friend Alex starts to tell you something hard, then trails off and looks at her hands.
Before You Start
- They get to set the pace — my job is to stay, not to pull it out of them.
- Silence I can sit in is often more present than a question.
- They don't owe me the whole thing tonight.
What Am I Walking In With?
What I want for them in this moment:
The pull I notice in myself when they go quiet:
What I'm afraid will happen if I just wait:
What Makes Staying Quiet Hard
- I want to fix it before I even know what it is
- Silence feels like I'm doing nothing
- I'm worried they'll think I don't care if I don't ask
- I want to know the whole story right now
- Something else:
What Matters Most
Not what I want them to tell me — what do I want them to feel from me?
Things I Could Open With
- “Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.”
- “I'm here.”
- “Yeah — that kind of thing is hard.”
When They Pull Back Again
- “No rush.”
- “You don't have to explain it.”
- “I'm glad you started to tell me.”
- “We can just sit here a minute.”
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