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After Something Hard

When your brother-in-law Ben lost his dad three weeks ago and is back at work, not talking about it.

Before You Start

  • An invitation stays one when they can keep walking past it.
  • You can offer a door without needing them to walk through it.
  • Letting them stay light is its own kind of care.

What You Want To Offer

What I've noticed about them lately:
What I want them to know is there for them:
What I'm hoping this small reach-out does:

What Makes This Hard

  • "How are you really?" might be a door they have to walk through
  • Naming the loss directly could feel like pressure
  • Commenting on how tired they look might feel like being watched
  • I don't want to push when they're clearly wanting normalcy
  • Something else:

What Matters Most

What's the one thing I most want them to feel, whether they open up or not?

Try An Opening

  • “Hey, been thinking about you. How are things?”
  • “(Say hi normally. Don't scan them.)”
  • “Good to see you — it's been a while.”

When It Gets Difficult

  • “No pressure either way.”
  • “Here if you ever want to talk.”
  • “Cool — me too. Things'll calm down soon.”
  • “Glad I caught you.”

StayIn · Conversations move. So can you.